Discussion:
Aliens: More Precious Than Silver
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St. Jackanapes
2008-06-06 03:33:11 UTC
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In alt.flame.jesus.christ Father Haskell barfed this out...
In alt.flame.jesus.christ Father Haskell barfed this out...
In alt.christnet.prayer Amazing Grace sang this out...
More Precious Than Silver
Lord, You are more precious than silver
Lord, You are more costly than gold
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire compares with You
You need to work in a gallon of gas in there somehow, Grace.
I can't say I've ever heard of the lord spoken
of in such crass materialistic terms.
Jesus would vomit.
He sure would! He abhorred all such materialistic cravings. Why, he'd be
spinning in his grave if he'd really existed.
--
St. Jackanapeshttp://www.jackanapes.ws
===========================================================
"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." - Benjamin Disraeli
-----------------------------------------------------------
VISIT DR. CHUNG'S CAT HOUSE:http://tinyurl.com/39gbog-Hide quoted text -
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see how you get this over here from alt christnet prayer just so you
guys can have someone to make fun of, cause trouble with etc. Why
don't you stop and contemplate where you will spend eternity instead
of acting like the drip that you are.
Jack will likely be sealed in a box, whereupon he will
be buried and eaten by worms.
I will be gutted like a frog in a high school bio
class. Whatever is left after donation will be
barbecued and scattered over hopefully unhallowed
ground.
I'd thought about donation to science, cremation, but after a lifetime
of reading and watching stuff about anthropology and archeology I've
decided that want to be embalmed & mummified like the Ehyptian pharaohs
- except using modern methods and technology. There's not much for the
future humans or aliens investigating mankind's extinction to study if
your brains have been yanked out of your nose and thrown away. Or if
your heart, lungs & chitlins's have been scraped out, perfumed and put
in little bags.

So with some really good embalming techniques I'd make a fine specimen
for the curious silicon based life forms visiting from Alpha Centauri to
dig up and study. They could learn a lot from me! And if their
technology were advanced enough, they even may be able to reanimate me.
Think of he stories I could regale them with.

I'd tell them about the ridiculous religious story about a guy named
Jesus being nailed up to lumber, dying, and then coming back to life -
religious nonsense from all way back in Earth's late Bronze age. I'd
tell about how about 1/5 of earth's people thought that this made up
person was real. The aliens would all laugh and laugh. They'd be
laughing because they all know that the only ay to bring animate beings
back from the dead was with their highly advanced technology - like
they'd done with me.

And they'd also be in hysterics because every advanced life form in the
Universe knows that there is no supreme being running things and spying
on sentient beings to make sure that they didn't have homo sex or cheat
on their mates. They'd write a book about humanity as the silliest and
most superstitious species this corner of the Milky Way.
--
St. Jackanapes
http://www.jackanapes.ws
===========================================================
"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." - Benjamin Disraeli
-----------------------------------------------------------
VISIT DR. CHUNG'S CAT HOUSE: http://tinyurl.com/39gbog
Father Haskell
2008-06-06 05:53:50 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by St. Jackanapes
In alt.flame.jesus.christ Father Haskell barfed this out...
Post by St. Jackanapes
In alt.flame.jesus.christ Father Haskell barfed this out...
In alt.christnet.prayer Amazing Grace sang this out...
More Precious Than Silver
Lord, You are more precious than silver
Lord, You are more costly than gold
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire compares with You
You need to work in a gallon of gas in there somehow, Grace.
I can't say I've ever heard of the lord spoken
of in such crass materialistic terms.
Jesus would vomit.
He sure would! He abhorred all such materialistic cravings. Why, he'd be
spinning in his grave if he'd really existed.
--
St. Jackanapeshttp://www.jackanapes.ws
===========================================================
"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." - Benjamin Disraeli
-----------------------------------------------------------
VISIT DR. CHUNG'S CAT HOUSE:http://tinyurl.com/39gbog-Hidequoted text -
- Show quoted text -
see how you get this over here from alt christnet prayer just so you
guys can have someone to make fun of, cause trouble with etc. Why
don't you stop and contemplate where you will spend eternity instead
of acting like the drip that you are.
Jack will likely be sealed in a box, whereupon he will
be buried and eaten by worms.
I will be gutted like a frog in a high school bio
class. Whatever is left after donation will be
barbecued and scattered over hopefully unhallowed
ground.
I'd thought about donation to science, cremation, but after a lifetime
of reading and watching stuff about anthropology and archeology I've
decided that want to be embalmed & mummified like the Ehyptian pharaohs
- except using modern methods and technology. There's not much for the
future humans or aliens investigating mankind's extinction to study if
your brains have been yanked out of your nose and thrown away. Or if
your heart, lungs & chitlins's have been scraped out, perfumed and put
in little bags.
So with some really good embalming techniques I'd make a fine specimen
for the curious silicon based life forms visiting from Alpha Centauri to
dig up and study. They could learn a lot from me! And if their
technology were advanced enough, they even may be able to reanimate me.
Think of he stories I could regale them with.
I'd tell them about the ridiculous religious story about a guy named
Jesus being nailed up to lumber, dying, and then coming back to life -
religious nonsense from all way back in Earth's late Bronze age. I'd
tell about how about 1/5 of earth's people thought that this made up
person was real. The aliens would all laugh and laugh. They'd be
laughing because they all know that the only ay to bring animate beings
back from the dead was with their highly advanced technology - like
they'd done with me.
They'd be laughing because their practical joke from
their visit 2,000 years ago went WAY better than planned,
the joke played by one of their scouts who got drunk and
went AWOL in Palestine for a week, screwing some local
girl named "Mary" and telling her he was an "angel of the
lord," among other shenanigans.
Post by St. Jackanapes
And they'd also be in hysterics because every advanced life form in the
Universe knows that there is no supreme being running things and spying
on sentient beings to make sure that they didn't have homo sex or cheat
on their mates. They'd write a book about humanity as the silliest and
most superstitious species this corner of the Milky Way.
Tell them all about America, and how you were its President.

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